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Writing Milestone: Twenty Completed Novels

6/21/2016

I completed the first draft of my latest novel, tentatively titled Riders on the Storm, a couple days ago. I'm guessing it took a while to process the fact that it was really done, which is strange given how many novels I've already written. I didn't share anything about it on Facebook until last night, and it hadn't even dawned on me until now that perhaps I might share this wonderful milestone here.

Counting collaborations, Riders on the Storm is my twentieth completed novel.

Just for fun, here is a list of them all:

Published
1. Myths of Gods
2. The Private Sector (World-Mart)
3. World-Mart
4. Aftermath (World-Mart)
5. Finding Poe
6. Cast in Blood (Revelations) -- cowrote with Jaime Johnesee and Christine Sutton
7. Cast in Fire (Revelations) -- cowrote with Jaime Johnesee and Christine Sutton
8. Cast in Shadow (Revelations) -- cowrote with Jaime Johnesee and Christine Sutton

Backlisted
9. Blood and Coffee (The Darkness and the Night)
10. Cosmic O (The Darkness and the Night)
11. Twins of Darkness (The Darkness and the Night)
12. Lust in Space (Pandora's Hope)
13. Pandora's Hope
14. Love in Space (limited printing sold on the Home Shopping Network)
15. The Hidden Valley

Never Published
16. The Nightcrawlers -- co-wrote with Erin Barker (manuscript long lost)
17. Cinderella Eyes
18. Digital Paige (good idea; just couldn't execute it right)
19. Agoraphobia -- currently querying
20. Riders on the Storm

All together, this adds up to roughly one and a quarter million words I've written in novels alone, which I think is pretty damn cool. Writing has always been the one activity that has followed me throughout my life, the one thing that has defined not Lisa the Twin or Lisa the Wife, but Lisa the Individual. No matter what has gone wrong or right in my life, the good or bad choices I've made, through the successes and failures, writing has been where I can turn to ground myself. It's also the best way I can think of to communicate the ideas constantly building in my mind. I'm an introvert, a thinker. I express myself best through the written word. Writing is a big part of who I am.

Some things I've learned so far:

Not every novel you write will be good. (You might even write a couple of stinkers.) If you write a flop, dust yourself off and get started on something new.
Write the kind of fiction your gut tells you to write. If your heart's not in it, why even bother?
The more critique you can get, the better. No one enjoys getting a list of what isn't right with his or her book, but if you take critique seriously and put forth the necessary effort to address it well, your writing will improve just as much as the story will.
Celebrate every milestone. I usually give myself a pat on the back for every 10-25k words I write. I'll often treat myself to ice cream or a nice dinner to celebrate a finished novel.
If you're an introvert like me, you might not get out much. If you can go to a writers convention, do it; you'll find that a whole new you comes out when you are among your tribe. Make connections, even if they remain strictly online. Share what you know and learn what you can from those who have more experience than you.

I mentioned in a recent blog post that this most recent novel (which still lacked a title at the time) was notably different than the bulk of my other books. The subgenres I'd chosen to work with had put me way outside my comfort zone, and I wasn't really sure at first if I was even going to be able to complete a draft. By the time the story and characters began coming into their own, however, I could see series potential. I love the world, and as difficult as it has been to write, it's been every bit as enjoyable. We'll see where it goes....

Thank you for letting me share this milestone with you! Hopefully, I'll have more news to share about Agoraphobia and Riders on the Storm very soon.

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Writing Outside Your Comfort Zone

6/11/2016

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I know I've said this a few times before, but the book I'm currently writing is different from nearly everything else I've ever written, containing all sorts of elements that fit together in unexpectedly cool ways. I really had to dig deep at first, many of the elements stretching beyond my literary comfort zone. I often take on projects that are far stretches from my previous ones. I know following one particular formula over and over works for many successful writers, but I guess my writing is too untamed for that. The type of fusion I write, a mash-up of science fiction, horror, and in the case of my current WIP, dark fantasy, challenges the lines that divide the speculative fiction spectrum.

The way I see it, if it's not a challenge, why write it? I want to push myself, see how far I'm able to go while still being true to myself. I want to learn. I want to spin words in a way that will take my readers on journeys no one else could possibly take them on. I don't think I'll ever get there if I don't push the next limit every time I get a chance.

The ideas I've explored for my different books have been so random, taking on different subgenres and elements with each one, I haven't had a problem matching the right elements with the right books. My most recent challenge, cyberpunk, has proven an intense new vehicle for world building, plot, and characterization. It's also been a joy (and a total pain in the ass) to write.

I do sometimes write escapist works, although it's important to me that there's more than just entertainment value to what I write. As much as I feel driven to challenge myself, I feel that drive to challenge my readers as well. Literature is such a rich venue, so versatile, but also easy to abuse. I find myself far too often in the midst of a story, thinking, How can I add symbolism to John Doe's death and also really make it a tearjerker? What can I do with this that is meaningful to me and might be meaningful to other people? How can I haunt their thoughts long after they've finished my book?

I've really found myself fascinated with some of the subgenres I've read very little of, such as cyberpunk and bizarro, and I've been super excited to see how those subgenres have cropped up. I don't read much romance these days, and yet I'm finding strong romantic elements slipping into this book. The muses have found a way to fold all those different elements in surprising ways.

For the first time in my life, however, if someone were to ask me, "What's your book about," I would have no idea what to say. I asked my husband, who's been a first reader, if he could think of a three-sentence description for this book, and he said he could not, but that "the story just somehow works."

I have an even greater challenge ahead of me. I'm about 15,000-20,000 words from the book's climax, which I already know is going to take a lot of thought, time, and coffee. Juggling all of the story's elements in a way that will feel genuine will not be easy, but I'm excited to take on the challenge. There's something satisfying about taking on something you know will be difficult and seeing it through to a successful end. Wish me luck on this one; I'm going to need the help of the muses if my novel isn't going to build all this way just to do a belly flop at the end.

P.S.: I'll let you know when I finally figure out how to describe my book. Until next time....

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All Sorts of Paranormal Fun

9/12/2015

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Those of you who've been following my work know I'm pretty eclectic, often shifting gears between projects, which can range from gritty realism and dark slice of life to paranormal and full-blown horror. If there is a constant in my writing, it is a reflection of the challenge I seek in making sure every piece I produce is unique in its own way.

Over the past several months, I've focused my attention on the Revelations project, managed by fellow horror author Jaime Johnesee and published through Devil Dog Press, and my self-published dramatic horror novella series, Jane the Hippie Vampire, both of which deviate--the former a little more than the latter--from my more literary works. Interestingly, I've found the mainstream hand to be more of a challenge than the literary.

Revelations has been the bigger of the challenges, however, since I share 2/3 of authorship--an even cut in each novel--with two other writers. Finding a voice that meshed as seamlessly as possible with theirs took some time, and maintaining that has required a little extra effort from all of us. All things considered, I think we've done a good job working together. The world we've built is creative and fun, and I think paranormal fans will find it right up their alley.

Book One: Cast in Blood is currently reduced to $0.99, and Book Two: Cast in Fire is available for pre-order for $3.99.

Jane the Hippie Vampire will appeal to that same audience, although more of my literary voice peeks through. I consider the series a side project of sorts, a bit too far outside the box for publishers but far too unique to keep to myself. The stories are quirky yet serious, whimsical yet gruesome. Jane is a walking dichotomy--colorful and peace-loving while, just beneath the surface, dark and bloodthirsty. The stereotypical Goth girl Jane is not, and I think that's what makes her so much fun. The first episode, Love Beads, is permanently free through all major online retailers. Episode Five: Dazed and Confused, is available for pre-order for $0.99, set for release on September 30.

About Cast in Blood: An unknown force threatens Heaven and Hell, along with every soul on Earth. Three unlikely heroes join together to restore universal balance. Will their shared adversary initiate an Apocalypse before they're able to uncover the truth, or will they rise to a calling that has, from the beginning of time, been Cast in Blood?

About Dazed and Confused: In this fifth novella in the dramatic horror series, Jane the Hippie Vampire, Jane stumbles upon a small, secluded town in the Nevada desert, where the simple life seems to have its residents in a rut. When patient zero of a biological weapons test stirs up some action, Jane finds herself amidst a whole different breed of undead—and in the middle of a war zone designed to leave no witnesses behind.

So, what's on the horizon? I think I have at least a few more Jane episodes up me sleeve ... and I have a speculative novel currently brewing in my head that combines literary, cyberpunk, and steampunk. If the story comes out as I hope it will, it will be something special. I'll keep you posted!

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Pardon Me, But Have You Seen My Brains?

10/26/2014

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I opened in last year’s Coffin Hop Blog Tour with a post titled “Pardon Me, But Have You Seen My Eyeball?” which was a piece about juxtaposition in horror. This year, I thought I’d write about separating the person from the prose—how a horror author can write terrible, sick, twisted, demented things and still be a good, (relatively) normal human being.

Remember to leave a comment for your chance to win a copy of Jane, Volume 1: Revival.

2014 atrtink.com

The Mind of a Horror Author

I recently published a series of novellas collectively titled Jane the Hippie Vampire, in which the protagonist suffers sexual abuse from more than one antagonist. One of them, the vampire who unintentionally turned Jane back in the ’60s had initially kidnapped her not only for a sustainable food source but also to satisfy his sick desires. This resulted in fleeting scenes of, for lack of a better word, torture-porn, and some of it is pretty horrific.

In real life, I do not participate in S&M. I don’t equate pain with sexual pleasure, and while I’m not going to judge anyone who does, I just thought I’d throw it out there that I’ve never fantasized about being raped with a red-hot poker. With that out of the way, I’d like to try to explain why Jane survived such a terrible event.

We writers work hard to make our characters as three-dimensional as possible. Sometimes that means creating characters that fall far outside our comfort zones. Sometimes that means creating characters capable of actions we’d never dream of in real life. I know an author who admitted to vomiting after writing a particularly sick torture segment. I’ve personally had to step away from the computer, take a breather, and shift gears for a while before I can continue past a particularly demented scene. Writing isn’t always about happily playing make-believe in our heads. Sometimes it is, and those are the fun parts, but writing isn’t always fun. Sometimes, writing is a sacrifice, and we make that sacrifice for the sake of our art.

This particular character, the vampire who tortures Jane in numerous unthinkable ways, is a true monster. I wrote him to represent not only the fictional creature in the shadows but also the predator that hides behind a charming, handsome face. They’re out there, the real monsters, and placing them in fiction in such a way serves to delineate them from us.

I dedicated Jane, Volume 1: Revival to all the survivors out there. I did this not only because Jane is herself a survivor but also because I’m a survivor. I suffered domestic abuse at the hands of a human monster for nearly five years before I made my final escape. I also was the victim of an even bigger monster—a disgusting, pathetic excuse for a human being who dosed my soda and did only God-knows-what to me while I was out cold. Perhaps it’s empowering to write about their fictional counterparts. Perhaps I would have written about them anyway. Regardless, I created them so I could banish them back into the darkness, where they belong.

And that’s what writing horror is all about.

More Coffin Hop tomorrow!

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The Jane in Me

9/12/2014

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I recently wrote a guest blog post titled “When the Protagonist Takes Over,” which is about the unintentional evolution of a story between concept and storyline and the actual finished draft. In it, I described my initial intentions for Jane versus the direction her series ended up taking, highlighting just how vastly different the two are.

While it can be fun to speculate how the characters or muses might influence a story, in all seriousness the changes come from somewhere within the author’s psyche. What influences that may or may not always be easy to pinpoint. When I thought about the changes that ended up occurring in Jane, I knew immediately they stemmed from unresolved issues I’d buried beneath a heap of forced strength. While writing should not function solely for the author, especially when it works to enable catharsis, sometimes it is appropriate to use bits of one’s past to fuel a particular work. I believe, in Jane’s case, this is one of those cases.

I’d known the recurring antagonist, who has so far presented himself solely in flashbacks and nightmares, was going to be abusive. I wanted Jane to have a dark past, something she’s worked over the past fifty years to overcome; however, I had no idea it was going to be this dark. Speaking as a woman who’s survived both physical and psychological abuse, I can say the flashbacks and nightmares never completely go away. When a human monster leaves a dark smudge on your soul, it can fade over time, but it’s always going to be there no matter how faint it becomes. In my case, that smudge is the commonality between the author and the character—and that commonality extends in Jane’s need to find the light within the darkness, to turn something terrible into the springboard for something good.

I don’t talk about this piece of my past often, but when I do, I remember the searing pain that came with having a cracked skull. I remember the bruises, the split lip, the torn rotator cuff. I remember the terror and the torture. I remember fearing for my life. This has not left me bitter though. I wish I didn’t have those memories, even though I’ve put them to good use. Collectively, they have made me an exceptionally compassionate, sympathetic person, and that’s the kind of person I wanted Jane to be. I know she wouldn’t be the character she is without my past to help forge it. Still, it is a part of my past I try to forget, even though it does slip through the mental barriers from time to time.

In Jane the Hippie Vampire: Hair, her own memories push their way to the surface with an intensity they hadn’t before presented. There were a couple of parts that disturbed me while I wrote them. And that intensity only grows in the next installment, Flower Power, which will be available solely in the four-episode bundle. Some of it was difficult to write, but I’ve come to realize Jane is more the tortured soul than I’d initially planned, and that’s okay.

About Hair:

In this third novella in the dramatic horror series, Jane the Hippie Vampire, Jane goes south for the winter, hoping to find reprieve in the forests of the Blue Ridge Mountains. A supernatural stalker of the shape-shifting variety has different plans, however. Will her new-found ally--a park ranger with secrets of his own--and his redneck family be enough to save her from a fate worse than undeath?

Jane the Hippie Vampire: Hair is available on Kindle.

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New Novella Series: JANE THE HIPPIE VAMPIRE

6/16/2014

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I'm happy to announce the first installment of my urban fantasy horror novella series, Jane the Hippie Vampire. Jane's a little different than much of my other writing, which tends to be more literary and sociological. She's a bit more down to earth--at least as down to earth as a burned out hippie can be. Thematically, she's a cross between the '90s Canadian cult series Forever Knight and the '70s hit television show Kung Fu. While Jane's no Nick Knight or Kwai Chank Caine, her quest is reminiscent of both.

About Jane the Hippie Vampire: Love Beads

She's broke and homeless. She's a vegetarian. She's undead.

Jane has had one hell of a time ever since she bumped into the wrong guy during the Summer of Love, but she's taken it all in stride. Wandering from town to town, she seeks out the needy and the broken in hopes of breaking the curse that's left her bloodthirsty and forever seventeen.

In Love Beads, Jane crosses paths with a middle-aged man who's encountered her kind before--but he seems happy just to have the company. Of course, appearances can be deceiving, and his secret might just prove to be the end of her.

Right now, you can get this first episode for .99 on Kindle.

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Writing Process Blog Hop

2/16/2014

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Yes, it's time for another viral author showcase. My thanks this time to Bryan Murphy for inviting me to participate in this most recent round. Here's how it works: one author, after receiving an invitation by another, answers a set of questions before inviting a few other authors on board to answer those same questions the following week. Those authors then continue the cycle. The questions:

1) What am I working on?

I’m currently redrafting my most recent novel, a sequel to my dystopia World-Mart, and the process has been painstaking. I’m also working on a dramatic horror novella series, for which I’ve completed two installments.

2) How does my work differ from others of its genre?

My work differs from most other horror stories in its literary slant. While literary horror is not entirely rare, I think what I write is particularly loyal to the style. I want my work to be artful without being pretentious, to send chills down my readers’ spines while also leaving them with important questions in mind—haunt them with provocative language portraying frightening concepts and imagery, but also haunt them with disturbing put pertinent issues seeded between the lines.

3) Why do I write what I do?

I write what I do because I have so much I want to say, so much I need to share, and writing is the only way I really know how to express it all. I’m the stereotypical introvert: I’m at my most comfortable sitting behind a keyboard; I feel awkward conveying my thoughts in person; and I am often at my happiest during times of silent reflection. Said reflection often results in observations I feel the need to share, and so I do it in the best way I know how. How clichéd is that? ;-)

4) How does my writing process work?

It usually begins with that big what if?—a thought or question that refuses to leave me. From there, I start seeing scenes in my mind’s eye, and with that, characters begin to emerge. Language begins to swirl through my thoughts until I’m left with a whirlwind that will only continue to grow in momentum until I face it, which of course requires that I address the intrusion and appease the muse imposing it. I move on to the next big questions: How does this issue affect these characters? What horrors might result from them? Are there any monsters of greater evils that might represent this horror? What can they do to fight it? Is said fight fruitful or futile? Why it all of that so important, and how does it relate to the world as we know it? From all of that, a story begins to emerge.

I begin writing character sketches—a page on each of my main players specifying name, age, profession, likes, dislikes, personal quirks, interpersonal relationships, and a brief history. I also write a basic outline, which is really a skeleton for the story that merely places an order to the main plot points, hidden bits of personal agenda, and literary devices I will cover. When I begin the actual writing, I tend to jump head first into the deep end. I let the muses decide upon the tone and how the story first unfolds.

From there, I write mini-outlines for chapters I know will be especially complicated while opting to let the story tell itself in others. Often, the muses will take the storyline in an unexpected direction, which requires I revise my outline accordingly and do my best to continue moving forward. I think it’s a good system. It works for me. For more about my personal process, see my previous blog posts “Building a Novel” and “We Write What We Will.”

Thanks so much for stopping by! Look forward to the next authors to participate in this blog hop on February 23:

Dan O'Brien
Allison M. Dickson
Jaime Johnesee

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So Long (and Thanks for All the Fish)!

12/27/2013

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It’s been quite a year. I don’t know about you, but 2013 was pretty extreme for me. On the positive side, I made some good friends, saw a few of my short stories get published in some great anthologies, wrote both a prequel and sequel to World-Mart, and joined the Horror Writers Association. On the not-so-positive, I endured the deaths of three very important people in my life and struggled to overcome the challenges related to some annoying and terrifying blind spots that had taken over about 10% of my left eye.

2013, despite the good that came with you, I’m glad to see you go. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

I really do have to say that this year has been by far the most trying I’ve ever survived—and that counts the nearly five years of physical and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of a mentally ill ex and the eight months I spent bedridden with Lyme disease and Lyme-induced lupus. Still, I’ve learned a lot this year. I learned that I’m even stronger than I thought I was. I learned that sometimes you don’t get to forgive someone who’s hurt you on your own terms (because death strikes on its time, not ours). I learned that life and the connections we make are far more precious than I’d previously believed.

For those who don’t know me, thanks for reading. Some pretty personal stuff is coming, stuff that probably won’t interest you. It’d be pretty cool if you kept on reading, but I’m not going to hold you to it. For those who do know me, those who have some kind of emotional investment in who I am and where I’ve been, I thank you for your love and support. What follows is a doozy. Here goes:

Christmas day marked the six-month anniversary of my mother’s untimely death. She’d been 57 when the heart attack had struck. My youngest sister found her lifeless body the following morning. I had not been on speaking terms with my mother for a few years. I’d felt the need to punish her for being … well, for being her. More specifically, I’d felt the need to punish her for the mental illness that had made her a sub-par mother and sometimes an even worse friend. Still, she’d had a good heart. She’d meant well. She really hadn’t ever had the chance to develop the skills needed to be a well-rounded adult. Her mother had died when she was 19; her father, too caught up in his own grief, had abandoned her and her two sisters shortly thereafter. She’d had to play life by ear. In many ways, she never stopped being a child. She’d hurt me more times than I could count. I’d refused to forgive her. I will have to live with the resulting lack of closure for the rest of my life.

Nearly eight months to the day, I lost someone who’d filled in for the empty spot most would designate as “son”; he’d have turned 15 the month after his death. Some of you might stop reading here when you learn that he was a cat. Those of you who ever knew him will know he was so much more than that. “Kitty” (he named himself—another story for another time) would have given you the stink-eye if you’d treated him like a feline. While he knew that’s exactly what he was, he strove to overcome species and form. Tommy and I used to jokingly call him our Pinocchio Cat—there was no question he’d longed for nothing more than to be a “real boy.” He’d taught himself to use doorknobs.

He’d taught himself to say a limited number of words—in English. (Tommy had thought me insane when I first shared our little secret, as before then Kitty had only spoken for me—until shortly after we’d moved in with him, Kitty led him to the sink and very clearly asked him for “wa-er.”) If you treated him like a cat, he’d slink away, mortified and hurt. He’s the reason Tommy and I got together, and telling this story always makes me smile.

As I shared above, I’d been in an especially brutal relationship. More specifically, I’d left said relationship with a cracked skull, split lips, and bruises covering at least 90% of my body. Needless to say, I’d left the man with some trust issues, issues so severe I didn’t date for three years. Then came Tommy. He was the neighbor across the way, a really neat guy my twin sister (with whom I lived at the time) had taken to inviting over regularly for dinner. She and Tommy were far from a decent match (much to her dismay), but the two of us were a perfect pair. I kept the walls between us though, terrified that he too might transform into a monster if I were to open myself up to him. Enter Kitty. Just as broken as I’d been from the abuse, Kitty had become deathly terrified of nearly everyone, but especially of men. In fact, my twin sister and her daughter were the only people other than me who could so much as touch him. That all changed the night Tommy and I were hanging out—and Kitty plopped down in front of him and offered his stomach for Tommy to rub. They were best pals from that moment on. Moreover, Kitty’s trust in Tommy said something to me. He saw something I’d refused to let myself see: Tommy was a kind, gentle, loving man—and my perfect match.

When Kitty died from an incurable infection he’d caught at the local veterinary clinic, life seemed to stop. Everything changed. Tommy and I (and Kitty’s sister, Kadie) still grieve his loss. It’s so unfair such a special person—and I mean that in the most definitive of terms—left this earth in such a terrible way. His illness was horrific. No one, the least of whom being someone like him, deserved to die in such a terrible way. But life had to go on.

Last month, a close friend of mine also passed away. Her death was deemed undetermined. Her husband simply found her dead. They say things like this come in threes. I truly hope that is true, because I don’t think I’d be able to handle any more.

Despite all of the loss, I’ve clung to my will to write. I’ve allowed the pain to fuel me just as much as it’s held me back. Some decent stories have arisen from the horrors, and for that I’m grateful. Horror comes from various inspirations. Sometimes the greatest horror comes from places that are deeply personal, painful, and life-changing. Much of my horror comes from a place very deep and real. Perhaps one day I’ll share the inspirations behind some of my darkest stories.

Anyhow, I’ve rambled on long enough. I commend you if you’ve actually made it this far and thank you for taking an interest in my bizarre world. In a nutshell, it’s been a crazy life. This last year has been particularly trying. I survived, though, and I’ve emerged stronger, smarter, older.

And do I have some stories yet to share with you … 2014, hold onto your hat. We have some important business, you and I.

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Building a Novel

12/22/2013

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I finally wrote those two magic words on the bottom line of my most recent novel: THE END. Although the 60,741-word manuscript took me less than two months to draft and I’d already gone through the blissful hell of writing thirteen previous novels, I’m basking in the relief. Finally, the entire story is out of my head and on the page!

I’m not really sure if those who’ve never written a novel can understand how important—how calming—this sense of relief is, so I’d like to share a little about the process.

What drives you to write?
If you're not a writer, have you ever felt
the desire to write a book?
What's stopping you?

Step One: The idea

Either it begins with a “What if?” or a mental image, perhaps a character or a particular theme, but no matter where that first spark comes from, the seeds have been planted. They begin to germinate. What was once a vague thought becomes a limited series of events. Scenes begin to manifest. Characters become more defined. A story slowly begins to form.

Step Two: Development

Some writers skip this step, but it’s an important one for me. This is the time when all those bits of characterization, short scenes, and general ideas first find their way onto the page. For me, it begins as 1) detailed character sketches, a different page for each main character that identifies name, age, sex, occupation, likes/dislikes, recreational activities, social status, personal quirks, and 2) an initial outline of the main plot points that have been haunting me for the past days, weeks, or months. The outline is not detailed, and sometimes it lacks a specific beginning, middle, and end.

Step Three: Page One

No matter how many times I’ve done it in the past, every time I sit down in front of that blank first page, I find myself riddled with reservation, hesitance, and excitement. How will my opening sentence define the rest of this book? Am I approaching it from the appropriate starting point? Do I have it in me to pursue this story to the end (which at this point seems so far away)? Those first words eventually come, however, and page one soon gives way to page two.

My latest novel is a sequel
to my dystopia World-Mart.

Step Four: The Next 200+ Pages

Here is where the story must unfold, beginning with a solid foundation and continuing with one layer after the next of structure that must build upon itself. Move too slowly, and the story will stagnate and die; move too quickly, and all I’ll have is a skeleton that may or may not be worth fleshing out. The task feels daunting, moving forward each day with just a little more to show for it. Think of it as tantamount to taking on a mission to build a skyscraper, one brick at a time. At the end of each day, I’ve raised the walls a little higher, and yet the top of that massive building is still so far out of reach that it feels like I’ll never get there—and yet the drive to continue is so overwhelming that I have no choice but to continue.

Step Five: Getting to the End

I’ve developed my ideas, laid the foundation, and finished building the walls. Now all that’s left is the roof. I still need to take my time to make sure what I leave behind is solid, but I’m tired. Images of the finished product have been bouncing through my head like a bucketful of super-balls from hell, and I long for nothing more than to release every last one of them so finally I can rest. So what do I do? I work on that roof nearly day and night, forgetting to eat, foregoing that much-needed shower, setting aside physical health by persevering like a little Energizer bunny until I feel like I might just die. I must finish; at all costs, I must finish.

And then comes that moment that had felt so far away for so long, those final two words: THE END. Now I can relax; I’ve thwarted the insanity once again by emptying my head of all those maddening super-balls that were assaulting my hapless brain. What sweet relief! I walk away from the computer, take a shower. I throw myself into that special circle of hell by editing the damn thing—but it’s okay because my mind once again belongs to me. I’m free.

And then, sooner than I’d like, a new idea hits me, begins to consume my every thought, and I begin the process all over again. As the great Kurt Vonnegut used to say, “So it goes.”

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There Are No Losers in NaNoWriMo

11/30/2013

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It’s day 30 of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), and while I’d hoped to have written closer to 40,000 words (the NaNoWriMo goal is 50,000) I ended just short of 33,000. Of course, the day is not over and I’ll probably have another 500-1000 words to add to the count before the stroke of midnight, but it suffices to say I did not “win” this year’s contest.

Here’s my final breakdown:

I enjoyed participating in the event. It was a great motivator to log in each day and see where I stood. The site’s programming allows writers to take a critical look at daily goals, offering an average daily word count and a suggested daily word count for those determined to finish those 50,000 words before December 1. I wish there were a site like this one that helped writers to keep track of personal monthly goals year-round, because it's that helpful.

To those who did “win,” congratulations. Finishing 50,000 words in 30 days is a real accomplishment. It is a goal that is not beyond most writers’ grasps, but no matter who you are, it takes discipline, persistence, and dedication to reach. To those who feel you have failed by falling short, look instead at the word count you did finish—you’re that much closer to completing your current book. 1000 words a day is nothing to scoff at. Even 500 will get you to the finish line in a matter of months. We all have our limitations, whether they’re personal struggles, health issues, or just hectic lives. Cut yourself whatever slack you’re due. If you have the drive, you’ll get there.

No matter what, just keep writing.

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