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Life on Pause

9/7/2016

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I’ve neglected this blog in recent months. Whereas I used to average new, original content regularly, I now have a long string of guest posts and little more. I’ve been meaning to reach out, but I’ve also been hesitant. It’s hard to explain how the loss of one cat has had such a profound effect on so many aspects of my life. She and I had a special bond. I had bottle fed her after finding she’d come home not yet weaned. We’d survived Jeff together, leaned on one another through the abuse and beyond, both coming out stronger for it. She had an expressive face and a unique sense of humor. She was an important part of my life for seventeen years.

You don’t expect the grieving process to begin while your dying loved one is still very much alive, but it begins as soon as you learn the condition is terminal. Caring for Kadie took a lot out of me. Life went on hold. I simply lost the energy to do more than keep my home marginally clean and keep Kadie, hubby, and myself fed—and that lasted for months. I took care of her, at her whim nearly every moment until the end. She was a sweet, funny, empathetic, and obedient companion; she deserved only the very best of hospice care.

When she died, something inside me became just a little duller. Emptier. I lost my fire. I could barely eat for a good month. The 18th will mark two months since her death, and I still can’t even think about moving the scratching posts without fighting tears. Home feels so empty while hubby is away at work. Sometimes I think I see her in the corner of my eye, or I could swear I just heard her meow. It’s not as bad as it was at first, but it still throws me.

Not long after Kadie’s ashes came home, hubby and I decided that a change of scenery would refuel us both, so we packed our bags and took off. We didn’t want to burden anyone with Hue, our leopard gecko, so we put her in a travel tank and brought her along for the ride (and, I must say, she took the trip with the utmost of grace). We drove up the California coast, stopping to swim at beaches and get together with friends and family. I took tons of pictures, getting a few nice shots to remember the drive by. Our final destination was a small town in southern Oregon, where my sister was slated to perform in a local production of Cats, a fitting play to attend given the circumstances. Hubby and I were there for opening night. It was a blast. We stayed with my amazing niece for a few days before heading back.

The vacation proved to be a wonderful break from the grief, but a break was all it was. I came home to an urn on a shelf. I have toy mice and catnip pillows packed away in a box I can’t bring myself to part with. A handful of people have insisted I get a kitten to fill the void, and it really only makes me feel guilty that I do not want another cat. I've zero desire at this time to open my home and my heart to another pet. That approach might work for some, but it is not the right one for me. S/he could never live up to Kitty (who died three years ago) and Kadie--no one could right now—and that would affect how I behaved around him or her. It would just be unfair to any animal.

So, here I am, struggling to write. A friend suggested I try some free-writing to get the words flowing. I think this is as close as I’m going to get. Anyway, I want to thank those of you who have taken the time to read my blog over the years. I’m still searching for that spark, something to reignite my connection to the written word, but I’m hoping to have more of my own posts to share with you in the coming months. Thanks so much for your patience and understanding. And, as always, thank you for your readership and support.
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Happy 2013!

1/1/2013

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It's amazing to think 2012 is already behind us, and it's been both a crazy and fascinating year.  We survived multiple "apocalypses," those of us in the U.S. got through a heated election, and we've seen some of the most innovative and awe-inspiring technological breakthroughs of the decade.

For me, 2012 provided some massive ups and downs.  Finding Poe reached Amazon's paid bestseller list and remained there for two weeks, and it was also named an EPIC finalist in horror (the winning results of which will be revealed in March).  I experienced my first-ever white Christmas.  I made some great friends on Facebook, but also lost a few over ideological differences.  I wrote my twelfth novel.  I endured terrifying blind spots in my vision due to retinal swelling, which have persisted now for over four months and have had a serious impact on my ability to read and write in a timely manner.

With all that said, what 2012 brought to me, more important than anything else, is the realization that life is surprisingly short, youth can pass us by before we have the chance to appreciate it, and health can take any number of unexpected turns that can prove forever life-altering.  So, this year, I challenge myself to take a chance I might not have taken in 2012, to do something that allows me to live in the moment and might provide me with exciting memories when I look back on this coming year--even if it happens to be scary or somewhat out of my comfort zone.

I challenge you to do the same.  Make a bucket list, even if you're young and healthy.  Think of something you've always wanted to do, but felt too apprehensive about doing.  Push your boundaries.  Take life by the reigns and force it into a new direction.  Make 2013 a year to remember.

I thank those of you who have followed my blog and/or my books and anthology contributions.  You have empowered me in ways you'll never know, and I wish you happiness, good health, and success in this coming year.

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Easter Egg Scavenger Hunt

2/17/2010

 
UPDATE: The contest page is now available at Whipped Cream and Long and Short Reviews: http://www.longandshortreviews.com/promo.htm.  While the contest does not officially begin until March 29 (and many of the links on the contest page are still not active), make sure to mark your calendars and bookmark the contesst webpage.  There are tons of prizes to be won, including a $25.00 gift certificate to either Amazon or Barnes and Noble, signed books, e-books, tee shirts, and publisher gift certificates.

Originally posted on February 17, 2010:  Whipped Cream and Long and Short Reviews is planning their 2010 Easter Egg Scavenger Hunt, which will include tons of great prizes.  All you have to do to enter is visit participating authors' websites and find the hidden Easter eggs.
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Come back at the end of March for more details!  Until then...
                                                                                     HAPPY READING!

The Cerebral Writer

7/23/2009

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I'm excited to announce that I have taken the plunge and bought my domain name.  I have called myself the Cerebral Writer for a couple of years now, so it is only fitting that my new web address is http://www.cerebralwriter.com.

I call my writing cerebral because I strive for a unique fusion of my favorite genres--sci-fi, horror, and erotica--and my favorite literary elements, my works often being just as thoughtful as they are experimental.  My thanks to those who have shared this amazing ride with me so far.  I can't wait to show you what I have coming next!

It's a surprise. ;-p

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Contest!

3/8/2009

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In celebration of Ravenous Romance’s March 9 release of The Darkness and the Night: Cosmic Orgasm, I will be giving away three free copies of the first e-book of the trilogy, The Darkness and the Night: Blood and Coffee.  The contest is simple:

1. Search this website.

2. Find the answer to this question: WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE TWIN LANGUAGE MY TWIN SISTER AND I SPOKE, AS CHILDREN?

3. Go to the “Contact Me” page on this site, and send the answer to me via the web form.

4. For an extra entry, join my Facebook and MySpace friend lists.

5. If you would like to enter this contest, but have already read Blood and Coffee, let me know if there is another book of mine I can substitute.
 
I will pick winners at random, on Friday the 13th, and will send notification by e-mail.  Good luck, and happy reading!

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Fabulous Blog Award!

3/8/2009

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Angela Cameron nominated my blog for the Fabulous Blog Award!  Thanks Angela!  Now it's my turn to nominate five great blogs:

Keta Diablo
Talk About My Favorite
   Authors
Jill Elaine Hughes - The Blog!
Isabel Roman
EM Lynley's Place

You blog is fabulous!  Copy this icon, paste it to your blog, an nominate five other fabulous blogs!

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New Essay

4/3/2008

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I'm finally getting around to retyping some of the essays I've been meaning to post.  As I wrote many of them on dinosaurs, using formats that my current computer cannot process, I'm having to rewrite them manually.  While this is not too much of a problem, as I can type pretty quickly, it does take away from my current project, my first of two sequels to my novel and screenplay, The Darkness and the Night.

Still untitled, I'm about halfway though the first draft, and I have to say -- knock on wood -- the Muses have been very good to me so far on this one.  I'm very happy with the plot twists and character revisits so far, and I think the pacing is just about perfect.  I'm very excited about the directions some of the characters will be taking, and I simply cannot wait until it is time to start part three and get this wonderful, yet very dark, adventure wrapped up.

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Update

3/24/2008

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Due to technical problems with my ISP, I was unable to access the Internet for a short while.  I'm happy to say that the problems have been fixed, and I have been able to make some updates and upload the files I needed.  I now have files available in the short stories section, and I am preparing to add a couple more essays soon.

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First Post!

3/2/2008

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Hello.  My name is Lisa and I'm a wordaholic.

It is late, but I decided for some reason that I would get started on this website tonight.  Obviously it is still a work in progress, but I hope to have things a little more interesting here soon enough.

I think I've done enough damage for one night (see "About Me" and "More"), so I'm going to sign off for now.  Until next time....

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