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Interview With Jane

6/2/2017

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Today, I’m delving into the World of the Page to interview Jane the Hippie Vampire about the fifty-year anniversary of the Summer of Love. Followers of her story will already know she had an unfortunate encounter with a rather nasty vampire in the summer of ’67, and her life has been one dark adventure after the next ever since.
 
Today, Jane’s agreed to reflect a little about the Summer of Love and what it means to be both a hippie and a vampire fifty years later, in 2017. We’ll skip the formalities and get straight to it:
 
LL: Jane, you’ve been seventeen for fifty years now. What’s it like knowing the world will never see you as an adult?

 
JANE: It’s a blessing and a curse. I get hassled all the time at bars these days, since I don’t currently have a fake I.D., but people also underestimate me. My body might have stopped maturing at seventeen, and that might have included my brain—I dunno—but I’ve still learned a lot over the years. I’ll admit I can be impulsive at times, and sometimes I do behave in childish ways, but I’m far from the naïve young woman who practically threw herself into that monster’s cellar all those years ago. I don’t take anything for granted anymore, and I’m much better at reading people’s subtler cues. I get in hot water far less often… kinda.
 
LL: “Kinda”?
 
JANE: Trouble just follows me, man. I don’t know if it’s something about my aura or maybe just a vibe I give off, but the crazies flock to me. I mean, you’ve read some of the craziness I’ve somehow lived to talk about. How many times have you wandered into the Blue Ridge Mountains and winded up being hunted by a hungry werewolf? Or just happened to bump into an incubus that left you looking ninety for a week? Seriously, who else does all this stuff happen to?
 
LL: True enough. What else do you think has set your life apart?
 
JANE: Probably all the travelling I do. I’m hesitant to stay in one area for very long, since I do tend to leave behind a body or two wherever I go. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone murder, but I am a vampire. I try really hard to find people the world would be better off without.
 
LL: I can see you’ve held on to that hippie mentality. Can you say a little about what it was like to be an actual hippie during the Summer of Love?
 
JANE: It was a trip, man. Times were so different then. People were opening up their homes all over the Haight. If you really needed something, someone would eventually come by who could help you out. Everyone was helpful, so I had no problems finding places to crash. Of course, I didn’t put out like most hippie chicks—you know, the PTSD—and that sometimes made things harder. Everyone was loose—and there were expectations put on women that you wouldn’t fully understand if you weren’t there. The guys were passing around women back then like they weren’t even people, but they all took it because it was liberal to sleep with a different guy every night. It was years before I was able to get intimate without freaking out and nearly killing the guy, so I was the odd woman out in more ways than one back then.
 
LL: I take it you were able to work past it?
 
JANE: Mostly. I still get flashbacks, but I don’t let the past rule me quite so much. You’d think after so many years, a person could let go of just about any trauma, but I guess that’s not always the case. Maybe if I’d had money for therapy somewhere along the line, my head would be on a little straighter. I dunno—can a person live on human blood and keep a straight head? I think I’ve handled it all as well as one possibly could, given my circumstances.
 
LL: If you had anything else to say about the Summer of Love, the hippie movement, or your part in it, what would that be?
 
JANE: We need world peace. Really. I’ve lived to see too many wars, enemies swapped, allies turned adversaries. Our boys fight because we say, “Today, this is our enemy.” And when those boys come home wounded and broken, we say, “Good job,” and we send out the next batch. But what’s changed? It’s still ’Nam; it’s just moved around since then. The division of the people, that’s the real enemy, man. Oh, and don’t eat meat, because that’s murder.
 
LL: I’ll just interject here that the views expressed in this interview might not necessarily view with those of the Cerebral Writer blog and website. That aside, I have one last question: Can you share a little about the next episode of Jane the Hippie Vampire?
 
JANE: I can tell you it involves a whimsical magician’s assistant, a bit of Las Vegas bling, and someone from my past returning in a way I never could have imagined.
 
That’s it for now! Stay tuned for highlights of tomorrow’s Vampire Tour of San Francisco, where the best hippie vampire will be chosen by the very Mina Harker! Until then, stay groovy, friends.

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